Pink Bats and the like..

Last night, I sang at a concert called "An evening in the theatre with Opera Hunter"

It was a delightful affair, I had a thoroughly fantastic time, I performed four peices, 2 of which were duets, one a trio, and a solo, I did the most performing out of all the performers there, I was chuffed.

Anyway.. for those of you who don't know, I have been losing a lot of weight over the last year, All up, I've lost 22 Kilo's. (I think thats around 44 pound...)

Anyway, before the show started, I was wandering around with a friend of mine (who i was performing the duets with, who has also lost a substantial amount of weight) when, I pulled my full length coat around me and exclaimed "My Goodness, I AM FREEEEEZING!"

My friend looked at me, and replied

"Freezing, Jane, its not that bad"

" I'm so cold!!"

To which she replied

"Oh! This is your first winter without pink bats isn't it"

It took me about 10 seconds to get that joke, and when I did, i was in absolute hysteria. For those of you who don't know, Pink Bats, are the doohickies that you use to insulate your walls and ceilings with.

This winter, is indeed, my first winter without pink bats.

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So, I'll get on with it, and tell you a little bit about the concert. over all, it was a fantastic affair.

I sang two duets from the Marriage of Figaro.. and as of late, I haven't done terribly much performing, so I was a tad nervous, and what normally happens, is when i get out on stage, the adrenalin hits, and my body won't stop shaking, it can be quite embarressing. But, for some reason, I didn't have that problem last night, I got out there, and had the time of my life.

In the second duet I had to sing, I had to come off stage after the duet, then straight back onstage for the trio that I sang for Voice, Clarinet and Piano, now, before I went out on stage, I put my music on the piano that was backstage, so that i could run off, grab my music, and go back on again.

SO, I sing the final duet, and go backstage, to grab my music, and alas, its not there.

Shit.

Have another look, theres a green folder, but mines black.

Shit Shit.

Ask the stage manager

"Kate! Did you take my music out??"

"Na mate"

"Shit shit shit!"

Meanwhile, the stage is quiet. and the guy that i'm supposed to be singing the trio with is mouthing to me from the other side of the stage

"Whats up"

"My f***ing music has gone missing"

"What"

"I HAVE NO F***ING MUSIC"

this is all mouthed, not actually spoken.

Then i realize, that the trio before i went onstage, must have taken my music, So, I pick up the train of my formal dress (for the guys, thats the bit that drags behind) and made a dash for the mens dressing room....

I got two paces, before i colided with the piano backstage, which was half covered by the backstage curtain.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK BLOODY SHIT FUCK"

This to, is mouthed.

The second third of the trio meets me half way behind the curtain...

"Jane whats wrong"

"My F***ing music has gone missing"

Keep in mind, its still quiet out on stage, and people are starting to get restless..

So I march into the mens changerooms, death stare the offender, grab my folder, screetch..

"Wrong f***ing folder" and race out again, take 2 seconds to compose myself, and we march on in an orderly fashion.

Now, this particular Schubert peice goes for about 11 minutes, and i got halfway through this peice, when i realized, that i had probably been a little harsh on the offender, and if I had been him, i would be feeling really hurt now, so, after a spectacular performance, the first thing I did was race off stage, go back to the mens changerooms, and apologise profusely to the poor guy who mistook my folder for his.

I explained why I was in such a tizz, and everything ended up good. I just felt rotten for the way I'd blown my stack.

Anyway, after that, It was time for interval, where you go out and meet the audience... I looked longingly at the coffee I couldnt drink, and then went back to the changerooms to prepare for the Song that I was singing next.

I was first on after the interval, and I sang a song called "A Word on my Ear" by Flanders and Swann, interestingly, it is the only song they never released on any of their albums, and i believe it to be the funniest. Its about a tone deaf singer, its one of the only opportunities, a soprano will get, to be able to come out on stage, play up, and make fun at oneself...

I love this peice of music, and i had an absolute blast performing it. The audience enjoyed it, which I was stoked about, and I can't wait till the next concert where I can sing it again... I love comedy.

Anyway, thats enough from me.. I'm outta here...

Comments!!

Sam - 2003-05-18 06:15:29
Well congrats on the weight loss thing, thats really awesome, and i didn't know you performed, so that's damn cool, sounds like you had a blast, and well i would pay someone to do it, but i can't afford it, LOL. So just me and my tired self doing it.
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