Moving On..

I was having a conversation with mum the other night, we were talking about this girl that I used to go to school with.. She was a few years older than me, but we went to the same primary school, High school, and lived in the same street our whole lives.

This girl and I were not friends.

She was a bully. Since I first remember her, to the last time i saw her, I never liked her, and she never liked me. I never liked her, BECAUSE she never liked me.

Anyway... She joined the cadets in highschool, absolutely got off on the power play, and it sorta formed her personality into an A Grade Bitch.

I found through this conversation with mum, that this girl, ended up joining the army, and last week, returned home from the War in Iraq.

Mum had been going for a walk the other day, and saw this girls mum, and they ended up talking.

So, anyway, mum was relating to me parts of the conversation that she'd had with this girls mum, saying that, the ship this girl had been on, was the one used to clear all the mines in Iraq, and they ended up in some pretty hairy situations, and this girl got quite scared, and that, when the ship was due to come into port, they were all worried because of the war protesters, and didn't know how their welcome home would be.

At the end of this converstaion, I turned to mum, and said

"You know, I really don't care. I just don't feel any sympathy, any pride or anything for her, theres a void there mum, I really don't care for the fact that she was afraid, I suppose now she knows what its like"

Mum sorta said "Thats not very nice, Jane."

I mean, I'm bloody proud of our Aussie Soldiers over there. I think they have done a fantastic Job, and If it had been any other person, I would have been really interested in the conversation, and sympathetic towards their feelings, but, I felt nothing.

I just remember thinking, well, now she knows what it feels like, to be afraid, uncertain.. Not in control!

But, does that make me a bad person?

The fact that for this particular person, If she had died, being honest, I don't think I would have felt sympathy. Thats pretty harsh I know!!!! Which scares me, because thats the impression this girl left on me.

I suppose this has been playing on my mind a bit.. I don't think I've let go of the fact that she made my school life pretty shit.. But now I'm expected to turn around and Say

"Hey well done, thanks for putting your arse on the line for our country, Even though your a bitch, I appreciate what you did!"

Hmmmmm Comments? Queries? Questions?

Comments!!

Sam - 2003-06-09 06:36:13
I can understand how you feel, i think thats perfectly normal.
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