Note to Self

Do not walk down the street with sixteen puncture wounds in your inner elbows, and blackish purple arms, wearing a short sleeved shirt. People will think you're a junkie.

Wish I'd thought of that BEFORE i left the house.

Walked to the local Shell to get some bread and milk... got to the counter, and the guy just gave me a double take.. noticing the arms.. I thought.. OH SHIT!! I just smiled at him, told him to have a nice day, collected my stuff and skedattled.

My arms still hurt, they are still swollen, I still can't cross them, because i cut the circulation off to my hands.

My head still feels weird.. I figured out what it is... You know that feeling you get in the morning, after a really really big night out on the town.. you're lying in bed the next morning, and your psyching yourself into getting up to survey the damage. Well, the second you get vertical, you know the feeling where all the blood rushes to your head, and your stomach does a pretty impressive triple turn with a half pike... that, is what i feel like, all day.

It feels like I have a hangover. My head spins occasionally, but on the whole, it feels like, my brain has skipped a frame, or, is out of synch with my eyes, and then has to catch up by fastforwarding, and as a consequence, i get this head rush. It sucks severely... and i can't get into see my doctor until next monday (its sunday night now) So i have to wait for just over a week.

I'm going back to work tomorrow, I've convinced myself that if i can get back into my routine, then i'm ok. If i can go to work and function, then i'm not that bad.

But if i leave the gas on and burn the house down, i should probably move back in with my olds.

The increadible and uncontrolable urge to cry at increadibly inappropriate times has not left... much to my disappointment. But, my Diabetes Insipidus episode, is a thing of the past... They cured me of that.. by not letting me drink anything for 12 hours, my body gave up! So yay, i don't pee 10 litres a day anymore.

I just feel really weird. And because i feel weird i'm miserable.

I wouldn't really care as much if they could tell me what is wrong with me. But they have no idea, and that worries me. I just want to be able to put a name to the way I feel, thereby also reinforcing the fact, that i am not insane. Because i certainly feel it.

Anyway... I'm going to bed.. Its taken far to long to write this entry.. my fine motor skills are fucked and as a consequence, my typing really really stinks.

Comments!!